Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
