Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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