Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
