Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
