I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
