I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
