the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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