I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
