dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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