Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
