You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is my gift to your gina
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
