Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
