i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
