Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
