just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
