i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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