I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
