batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
