i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
