best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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