Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
