doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize