is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
