What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
