Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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