marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
