My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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