you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
