I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
