And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize