wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
