dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
