She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
