You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
