My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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