my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
