I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
