She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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