She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
