Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
