he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
