I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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