just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
