I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
