i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
