and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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