You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
