I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
