Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
