babies were throwing up all over the place
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
