So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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