she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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