This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
