I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize