yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize