why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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